I'm starting this blog to keep track of exactly what the title says....Kiel & I are expecting the unexpected...a baby! We found out June 2nd that my missed period wasn't due to my irregular cycle and it's been a crazy whirlwind ever since.
I would love to say that my first emotion after that first stick turned pink (I took 4 just to be sure!) was pure excitement, but it was more like pure fear. Since Kiel & I aren't married, nor were we even talking about having kids yet, so many negative things ran through my head...Will Kiel think I did this on purpose? Will he leave or stay and resent me forever? I fully blame my pregnant emotions for that freak out. Lucky for me, Kiel is a little more emotionally mature then I give him credit for. The next morning, while I cried my eyes out he pointed out the obvious. So what if we're not married? We're 28 and 30 and let's be honest, while this isn't the order we saw our future going in, we both want kids eventually. We've been together almost 3 years and have been living together for about a year & a half...feels like marriage without the piece of paper & shared bank account. When Kiel told me he knows I'll be a good mom and he was 50% scared but 50% excited, it was hard not to get excited with him :-)
It has been completely overwhelming to realize how supportive our family & friends are! While people have been having children for years without being married, it's still a hard pill to swallow when it actually happens to you. So it's an extra bonus when you tell your parents & sisters and they can hardly contain their excitement! How lucky are we to be able to experience this? I think everyone has that fear of having trouble trying to conceive or being able to conceive at all so once I allowed myself to let go of the fear of not doing things the pc way, I felt so privileged. Fertility drugs have been common among our family & friends so Kiel & I are not naive to the struggles people go through to start a family. If I've learned anything it's that life doesn't always work out how you planned. I guess if I'm ever going to accept this, now is the time. Maybe this was our wake up call to stop waiting around for all of the stars to align and get on with life. Message recieved!
We also received our first baby gift & book to add to our baby's library. Thanks Lindsey, Justin, & Jack!!!
your baby's the size of a raspberry!
Now she weighs in (yay!) at about .04 ounces and measures about .63
inches. This week, she's growing about a milimeter each day.
It's gonna be a fun ride!!
Nicole
