In Loving Memory

Dear Jase

When you were 12 weeks and 1 day old, we said goodbye to your Great Grandma Lois.  Since you won't have any memories of your own of her, I wanted to write you a letter to share some of mine. 

It's hard for me to decide what to say about her since I have only known her for about 3 years now so I'll start at the beginning.  Your Great Grandma Lois was your Papa's mom.  She was married to your Great Grandpa Bud who passed away about 6 years before her.  I know she would probably be embarrassed about this picture because of the beer cans, but I just love how she looks here...always smiling, always joking around.  Just how I'll always remember her personality.

Great Grandma Lois & Great Grandpa Bud had 3 children...your Great Aunt Sandy, Papa, and your Great Aunt Nancy.  Their children blessed them with 5 grandchildren; Chris, Corey, Caleb, your Aunt Shilo, and your dad.  They were blessed again with 5 great grandchildren; Alyssa, Jasmine, Jamison, Hayden, and you.  You all meant everything to her.  Bud used to call her "Lodie" but when Jamison & Hayden were little they left off the L and she became "Grandma Odie."

Speaking of nicknames, I can still hear her talking to your Aunt Shilo...she always called her "Sis" and I loved the way she and your Great Aunt Nancy said it. 

Great Grandpa Bud taught Papa everything he knew about hunting and fishing and Papa taught your dad everything Great Grandpa Bud had taught him.  Your dad spent a lot of time at their house when he was growing up and became extremely close to Bud & Lois.  He's been telling me about them for years...I can't wait for him to share his stories with you.  Make sure he tells you about Great Grandpa Bud and the monkey, the maple tree and the watermelons,  and bringing home the chicken dinner.


I remember the first time I met her, she walked right passed me when your dad introduced me and said, "I need to see my man first."  She really thought the world of him. 

 

When we told her we were pregnant with you, she knew you were a boy right away.  All she wanted was for "my Kiel" to have a little boy that he could pass on all his knowledge from Papa and Great Grandpa Bud about hunting and fishing.  The day we found out you were a boy, your dad couldn't wait to call her and tell her the news.  She started sending letters with boy names and telling your dad to take good care of me since I was carrying "our boy."

She was already very sick when you were born so we couldn't take you to see her right away, but you did meet her once and while it was brief, it was a very special moment not only for her, but for all of us.  While she was alive, she got to see you grow through the blog when I would mail the posts to her.  I'm pretty sure she looked forward to the weekly updates more then anyone else...she read every single one.  I will miss her letters she would send with her thoughts on the newest entry.  She always ended them with "I <3 U...Hayden taught me that."

Papa took her out on his Harley once and she told him it was the best day of her life.  She made Grammy give her the shirt off her back and her do-rag so she could have some Harley gear :)  Once they got out on the road she told Papa to step on it because she wanted to go fast!!  A few days after the ride, this picture showed up in the mail...this is how I will remember her.

Lois used to sing the Love Bug song to your dad and Aunt Shilo when they were little and not long before she passed away, Grammy started singing it to you.  So every time Grammy sings the "Love Bug" song to you, know Great Grandma Lois is watching from Heaven and smiling.  She will love you and protect you from there...you have one of the greatest Guardian Angels on your side.

"Love Bug" - George Strait
Well I was ruling the roost, had all the chicks to myself.
And suddenly it happened, that funny little feeling I felt.
Well I tried to outrun it, but it finally caught up with me.
Tell me how can I run from something that I can't see?

Oh that little bitty teeny weeny thing they call the lovebug.
Nobody's ever seen it, but it's got the whole world shook up.
It all started with a little bitty kiss and a hug.
It's a little bitty teeny weeny thing they call the lovebug.

Well I always thought that I had me a pretty good style,
But I lost that race by a good old country mile.
Well I was walking all around with my head held way up high,
And it fooled me, hit me, really took me by surprise.

Oh that little bitty teeny weeny thing they call the lovebug.
Nobody's ever seen it, but it's got the whole world shook up.
It all started with a little bitty kiss and a hug.

Oh that little bitty teeny weeny thing they call the lovebug.
Nobody's ever seen it, but it's got the whole world shook up.
It all started with a little bitty kiss and a hug.
It's a little bitty teeny weeny thing they call the lovebug.

It's a little bitty teeny weeny thing they call the lovebug.

Oh that little bitty teeny weeny thing they call the lovebug.
Nobody's ever seen it, but it's got the whole world shook up.
It all started with a little bitty kiss and a hug.
It's a little bitty teeny weeny thing they call the lovebug.

It's a little bitty teeny weeny thing they call the lovebug. 


I hope we can do her justice with the stories and memories we will share with you because she was truly an amazing woman.

I <3 U,
Mom

Rest In Peace Grandma Odie
July 30, 1932 - April 26, 2013

11 Weeks - Grandpa's Wedding & Daycare

4-19-2013
                         Blurry, but still funny                                                             So serious!

4-20-2013 - After almost a decade (lol) of being engaged, Grandpa & Cindy finally tied the knot!!!  They had a small ceremony in Earlville and dinner at the Curl Inn in Triumph, IL.  I didn't get any pictures of the ceremony because Amy & I were the bestmen :), but everything turned out great!  We are looking forward to the reception in July.  Congratulations!!!  We love you!

He was so excited about his outfit for the wedding lol

This picture cracks me up...look at Matt & Henry lol

Still going strong at midnight!  He was just so happy for the newlyweds :)

4-21-2013 - Last day of maternity leave, I've had better days. Who in their right mind could leave this face?

4-22-2013 - Milestone - Mommy goes back to work and Jase has his first 1/2 day at daycare.

This day came so quickly...I was devastated.  He was sleeping when I dropped him off so he wasn't even phased by my leaving.  I, on the other hand, barely made it to the car before I broke down.  Ugh.  I pulled myself together and went to work only to have my boss say "So, how did drop off go?"  Cue tears again.  This is something they don't tell you about when you start having babies...this sh*t is for the birds!!!

Aunt Amy dropped the twins off and checked on Jase after I was already at work and reported he was happy in the swing watching all the kids play.  She said he couldn't keep his eyes open wide enough or kick his feet fast enough while taking it all in...social baby already!  The day went pretty fast catching up with the guys and getting back in the swing of things, but boy was I glad when noon rolled around. 

While I was afraid Jase would cry the entire time he was at daycare and I would have a nervous breakdown that first day, everything turned out just fine.  I have to mention how thankful I am to have had the opportunity to ease back into work.  Not many people get that chance and I realize I'm very lucky to work for a family owned business with a boss who understands this was/still is a hard decision.  I also have to mention how lucky we are to have such a great sitter.  The fact that we feel so comfortable with Kyra has made this experience 100 times easier and it's still hard so I can't imagine how I would feel if we had to take him to someone we didn't know. 

And while I'm looking on the bright side of things, going back to work has really made nursing feel like less of a chore.  Somedays, I felt like nursing was more of a burden then a benefit (totally not true), but now that I've had a break from it a couple times this week, I'm able to appreciate that time with him a little more.  After leaving him with a sitter for 4.5 hours, it's nice to have something only him & I can share...I know it's comforting to him so it's comforting to me.  I wish I could say the same for pumping.

4-23-2013 -  Kyra sent me the pic of him in the swing shortly after I dropped him off and the carseat pic is him when I got him home.  The kid is EXHAUSTED from watching all the other kids all day.  He took a 4 hour nap when we got home and still slept through the night that night.  Not even a cry for his paci.

Playing with mommy after naptime...love that face!

4-24-2013 - A visit from Grandma Pam & the twins - Jase loves to watch tv

 Sitting up like a big boy with not much assistance considering he's only 11 weeks old!!

We discovered this new trick on accident, but he did it 3 or 4 times...he'll be walking before we know it!

4-25-2013 - I realized I didn't have any pictures from today so before the big guy went to bed I snapped this one.  Have a new mission to get him on video looking at a picture of himself.  He laughed as hard as I did when I saw this face...

Can't wait to enjoy the next 3 days not working!  Monday is our first full day of work and daycare.  This week has helped to prep me, but I'm still a little anxious about it.  And Wednesday we have his VGRAM to check for reflux in his kidneys so think happy thoughts for our Jasers!!

-Nicole

10 Weeks

Jase & I spent a lot of time watching the news coverage of the Boston Marathon bombings.  With the injured list at more then 170 people and 3 fatalities, sickening seems like an understatement to describe this unnecessary tragedy.













Just a reminder that 9/11 wasn't that long ago and it's not safe to relax and let our guard down as a country.

Thank goodness for the first responders who acted without hesitation...without them, it would be hard to argue there is any good left in this world.

   








My last week of maternity leave...

Milestone:  Jase gets his first "cold".  I use the word "cold" very lightly...it's really just a stuffy nose due to this ridiculous fluctuating weather.  We made the mistake of shutting off the humidifier for 1 measly night and BAM!  Luckily that's his only symptom.  No fever so we've just been getting a lot of practice with the aspirator. 

4-12-2013 - Chunky baby!!!  Can't get enough of those thighs!!!

4-13-2013 - Impromptu feeding & diaper change in the car while in Bloomington accompanied by a lot of  
                     spit up 

 4-14-2013 - Video monitors are the SHIZ!!!

4-15-2013 - Showing off the bib from Uncle Jeff...still deciding if we're going to let him wear the Sox jersey

 4-16-2013 - The results of wiggling while swaddled...just a little bald spot.  And rocking his new shades from The Bachman's - such a stud :)

                     Kiel worked over Wednesday night - he didn't get home til Thursday am at 8:30ish.  I thought

                     I didn't like being home alone before...it's even less comforting with a baby.  We did survive.

4-17-2013 - A visit to see his BFF Jack!  Almost the same height??!??!  

Jack = 4 months  Jase = 2 months

 4-18-2013 - Daddy came home just long enough to eat dinner with us tonight, but headed out shortly after
                      to go help with all the poles down from the flooding.  We are crossing our fingers the river
                      crests and the roads clear up before Saturday so everyone can make it to Grandpa's
                      wedding!!!! 

The nurse at the hospital told me "for the next 3 or 4 months you will probably feel like a Christmas Tree and he will be your ornament".  Couldn't have said it better myself! 

-Nicole

9 Weeks - Tummy Time Video

4-5-2013 - Yay for that stretch of warm weather!  Walking outside is much better then the track at the rec!

 

Checking out the swing at Grandpa's lol

4-6-2013 - oops

4-7-2013 - Bath night!

4-8-2013 - Another nice day!  Look at those cheeks!

4-9-2013 - We have a wiggler...he started on the burp rag :-/

Tummy Time!

 

 

Talking to & smiling at his friends :)

 

4-10-2013 - Kiel & I took Jase to see his daycare.  It went really well.  Kyra got to hold him and we had a quick chat about what our first week will be like.  Lots of cuddles from both mom & dad that night.

 4-11-2013 - Recapping the Masters - Let's go Dustin!!

I'm beyond sad to say, I have less then 2 weeks of maternity leave left.  We are so lucky to have such a great sitter.  Kyra is so laid back and since Amy's kids go there we already know he will love her and I am VERY thankful for that!  Daycare will be good for BOTH of us.  I want Jase to be social and not completely dependent on me.  He deserves to go somewhere and play with other kids instead of just listening to his crazy mom tell him over and over how cute he is.  And in all honesty, as much as I love spending everyday with him and have actually started to enjoy cooking because I have lots of time to do it...I want to go back to work.  Maybe not in 11 days and maybe not full time, but I know I will be glad I went back to work in the long run.  It will be nice to have things to talk about other then how many times Jase spit up or pooped that day.  Adult conversation and using my brain are something, I must say, I have missed (sarcasm-a SAHM's job is hard and I'm not sure I'm cut out for it)  Once we get that first day...week...month over with we will all be just fine.

And even after being able to admit all that, I still have the worst anxiety over actually sending him.  He's just so helpless still.  No one else knows his routine and his different cries and how to snuggle him when he gets tired.  Ugh, I'm tearing up just thinking about someone else doing that for him.  I guess this is pay backs for all the times I rolled my eyes at my sister when she got upset about leaving her kids...I get it now Amy.  

Kiel & I are not the first family to have 2 working parents.  Jase is going to be just fine and eventually so am I.  Life will go on...this is not the end of the world...just keep swimming, just keep swimming. 

-Nicole