It's like a broken record is playing over and over in my head...this was the fastest year of my life. Just thinking about what I was doing a year ago today, brings tears to my eyes and an overwhelming panic that the next 17 will go even faster. A year ago? Really?
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"JMan" aka "Baby" aka "Jasers" aka "Monkey" sometimes "Hey you" but always...
Jase -
Watching you grow over this past year has been the greatest experience of my life. Just the other night, I was putting together some decorations for your birthday party and was floored looking at how much you've changed over the last 12 months. You are no longer that flailing, tiny helpless infant we brought home from the hospital. Your eyes are still blue, your hair is still red, and you are still as observant as ever but you're taller, sturdier, and even more loveable...I had no idea that was possible. Everyday you learn something new and even though the tasks you complete are ones I mastered long ago, it's as if I'm learning too. Winter may never be my favorite, but I forgot how pretty it can be until we took you out in the snow and your face lit up. Finally, there is reason to enjoy mornings. I am still not in love with the time consuming act of cooking, but meal time is more fun watching you learn what you like and how to feed yourself. Splashing in the bathtub is no longer messy, it's mandatory. I cannot come up with what I filled my evenings or weekends with before I had you to entertain me. There are no dull moments...I could sit and watch you for hours.
You eat with your left hand, snore, and sleep like a rock...just like daddy. You have an obsession with burp rags, watch tv with your mouth open, and prefer to sleep on your stomach...just like mama. Who you look like depends on the day, but we sure do hear that you look like Grandpa Gregg a lot lately. Some days, I feel like you're a clone of my baby pictures and other days the shape of your face is so your father. You already know the boundaries of things that are not toys and test them regularly. You love the camera (like you have a choice). You are the happiest baby I have ever met.
I have no "we survived a newborn" speech for you...you were/are such a good baby (let's continue on that path, yes?). For the record, I would love you even if you had made me work for it, but thank you for being a good sleeper and making breastfeeding enjoyable. Thank you one million times for all of the smiles and snuggles. Most of all, thank you for making me a mother. I consider it my greatest accomplishment and promise to always do my best for you. Please be patient with me.
Part of me wants to keep you this age forever because I can't imagine life without you reaching for me from the floor or being able to rock you to sleep. But the other part of me cannot wait to see you continue to change and grow. So while I am sad that our first year together has gone so quickly, I know we have so much more to look forward to.
Happy 1st (golden) Birthday baby boy!!
Mom
My girl and boy are by far my greatest accomplishments. I have not done one other thing in my life that compares to being their mom. I made so many mistakes (they will give you a list that goes on forever) but I can only hope that they always know that I did my best. :-)
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